REINCheck

[MUSIC]

VO [00:00:06] You're listening to REINCheck with Andrea Rice, Contracts and Industry Specialists at REIN, where you get the latest member news and information delivered straight from the source, REIN MLS.

[MUSIC]

Andrea Rice [00:00:20] Hello and welcome to Rain Check. I am your host, Andrea Rice, and today we are checking in with Lisa Frates, member of REIN's Sales Managers Advisory Committee. We also have with us today Luis Martinez and Patricia Kafka to talk about meditation and the benefits meditation has on both your professional and personal life. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Lisa Frates [00:00:42] Thank you for asking us to do this. I think it's going to be a fun topic.

Luis Martinez [00:00:47] Thank you for having me.

Patricia Kafka [00:00:48] Happy to be here.

Andrea Rice [00:00:49] Yeah. Yeah, I think it's going to be great. And I just want to start off by saying that, you know, I started meditating consistently about two years ago and it completely changed my life. So, I am a huge believer in the benefits of meditation. So I'm just really excited that you guys are here with me today to talk about the topic. But before we get started, I would like to talk about some of the data behind meditation. According to the National Institute of Health, some of the health benefits of meditation include helping people manage stress, anxiety, depression, pain, and can help actually with controlling weight and sleep quality and is also even shown signs to help people to reduce PTSD syndromes. I'm sorry, PTSD symptoms. Some research has even shown that meditation may actually change the brain structure. I read a lot about that, and I do believe that that's actually the case of what's going on. Meditation has been shown to improve concentration and attention span. A 2012 study found that just four days, four days, that's not much at all, of meditation practice led to improvements in attention and working memory, which I find pretty fascinating. And several studies have shown that meditation can enhance the activity of natural killer cells, which play a key role in the immune system's ability to fight off viruses and cancer. Today, I want to talk about how meditation can be useful as both a personal and professional tool. Some statistics I found were that meditation can increase employee productivity by 120%, and 52% of employers provided mindfulness classes or training to their employees as of 2018, which I found really interesting. I thought that was a huge percentage. So that's some of the data on meditation. And now that we we've looked at some of the data, I would like to get some input from each of you on what your personal experiences have been with meditation. Maybe how you meditate, how you came to learn about meditation. You know, there's different methods. How often do you meditate, any takeaways, things like that. So, Lisa, let's go ahead and start with you.

Lisa Frates [00:03:10] Well, you know, I feel like I've practiced meditation on and off for years. And what I, you know, when you're sitting there naming all the different benefits of meditating and there's more than what you're saying there. I think that for you really to want to do this because it's a discipline, you know, it's a discipline. And really to get the best benefit is to make it a habit and do a few minutes every day. And I think you have to find your why. I think you have to figure out why am I doing this not just for the purpose of meditating, but, you know, to have a more fulfilling life. And so I used to try to meditate, and I found that my mind just wandered and Andrea and I were talking about this. But when we when I was talking to some of my friends, asking them if they meditate, they're just like, Oh, I can't do it. And, you know, there's a lot of freedom when you realize that that is very normal. You're going to have all these thoughts coming in and that's perfectly okay. You just dismiss it and then you go back to and everybody, you know, there's different ways to do meditation. And I've tried a few of them. You know, I've done the mantra, you know, that says I am peace and love, and I come from joy. You know, I've done those kind of mantras I've done. I usually start off with breathing and getting into it, but I, I found that when things are overwhelming in life, I feel anxious or stressed or I have problems because I'm human, I guess, you know. Then I'm like, Oh, I've got to get back to meditation and then I want to get back to doing it. But I have found if I do it consistently, I have it makes my day better. I have less times of feeling overwhelmed. It really, you know, this is kind of interesting, but meditation, if you don't think you have time for it, it actually gives you back time. It helps you get your thoughts more organized. It helps you get more focused. Just like exercising is supposed to give you more energy. So, you spend, you know, whatever, 30 minutes, an hour exercise, you're supposed to get all that back, you know, with extra energy. And that's the same with meditation. If you take carve out 10 minutes, 10 minutes a day to meditate. You will be much more productive, much more focused. Much calmer. You'll have a better day.

Andrea Rice [00:05:54] Yeah, I agree, Lisa. And that's a good point that you'll get that time back, because I find that I I'm not as reactive to things, so I don't spend a lot of time and energy, you know reacting in a way that is non beneficial. Like when I say I believe that it really has rewired my brain, like I, I just don't get that amped up anymore. I don't get angry about things anymore. I just, you know, I feel like I can more clearly see what's happening in the day and attack it in a more calm and rational and, you know, productive way. So, yeah, I 100% agree.

Lisa Frates [00:06:37] Awesome. It helps you tap into your wisest self, you know?

Andrea Rice [00:06:45] Luis, what's been your experience with meditation?

Luis Martinez [00:06:48] You know, I'll tell you to tap in on what you guys are saying. You find that you have more time. It's just because I feel like it's in my experience it's because you're so much more intentional. You're we, as real estate agents, we want to time block. We want this is when we do our calls. This is when we do our pop byes. This is when we're doing our prospecting so on and so forth. But with my ability when I am able to meditate I'm much more intentional, I'm much more clear on what needs to be done, how I need to go about it. And I'm much more aware of what I what outcome I want. So that time of being reactive, that time of procrastinating, that time of transition from one job to the next job or task to the next task, that's where all that extra time comes from. So, you know, meditating, being much more intentional. It allows you to work so much more effectively and gives you so much more time. You know, that's I think that's.

Lisa Frates [00:07:54] That's a great way to say that.

Luis Martinez [00:07:56] A key to where all that extra time comes from when you think you don't have time. Cause our mind. My mind especially, you know, you mentioned it statistically helps with PTSD and things of that nature. My prior service, my 20 year journey and trying to meditate and, you know, I'm just I think it's funny because you mentioned you've been able to meditate. You started this two years ago. I had a buddy in the service who drove me nuts because we'd live together and he'd sit down on the couch, we'd have the TV off and he'd just sit there, just blank stare. I'm like, what are you doing? You know, what are you thinking about? He's like, Nothing. I'm like, what? It just didn't make sense to me, you know? And all I can think about when, you know, those years ago is Kung Fu movies where, you know, the monks kind of sat off. But now I get what he was doing. And for him, it was natural. Just an absolute blessing. And he has a very successful life now. But I'm just getting to that point now. Before my meditation was, ah, let me go walk, let me go work out. Let me go. Let me try to visualize what I want. Let me try. Let me try thinking on peace and I'm calm when I'm not necessarily calm. So I had, you know, it's been a journey, a longer journey, I think for me in that it's been but it's all been a step to learning what works and where I'm feel where I can find my silence. I think that's the biggest thing is learning to get into that silent area where I can find clarity.

Andrea Rice [00:09:35] Yeah, I agree. It provides a lot of clarity. Patricia, what's your experience been?

Patricia Kafka [00:09:41] Uh, I don't know that I would have called it meditating years ago. I do call it. I do somewhat call it that now. But mine is I mean, I'm Christian, so mine is prayerful. And it's taken me years to focus and be able to. And so, and for me, I need it. I absolutely get up in the morning with an alarm clock, sit. Just a few things for me that I have to do just to get through the day is surrender. I mean, I start essentially on my knees. I surrender the day and then I would say that. I would say that I do focus on specific verses that I happen to be focused on at any particular phase of life. And then I sit, I journal and I quietly listen for answers and a lot of times get set answers and then journal them out. And sometimes music helps. But for me it's really about surrendering the day. And real estate, for me, I actually wanted to do ministry. Ended up in real estate which I do feel like is ministry to an extent.

Lisa Frates [00:10:59] Amen.

Patricia Kafka [00:10:59] You're helping people with their finances. It's their future, it's their children, it's you want them to thrive. And I tend to take a lot of responsibility for all of that. And so, I think for me, prayer and meditation helps me realize, you know, in carrying the concerns for our clients, how to carry them healthily and how to have boundaries and not lose my mind, but also just to care for them, to pray for them. Pray for the, you know, for the community that they end up in. That they'll thrive and that for wisdom, right? And discernment. Because so much of this business is not in our control. And I find that to be difficult. I think I tend to be more want I want to be more controlling. And so that for me it's just it's peace of mind, right? So it's just finding peace and knowing that I don't have to have I don't have to carry the responsibility unhealthily. I mean, we carry responsibility for them, but it doesn't have to be detrimental to our health or our relationships with others, because I think that it can be, well, you know, answering the phone 24/7. So that's my experience. But it is it's definitely a discipline, like you said, Lisa, to really just learn how to focus and, yeah. And continue on this train of thought or prioritize, like you said, Luis, like prioritizing the day. You know, prioritizing, finding time, because you've actually prioritize what's important and what's not. And you're not running around, you know, like squirrel. Like, I feel as real estate agents, we wear so many hats that we can get a little bit of a squirrel mentality. And focusing on what's important. Centering ourselves is very important.

Lisa Frates [00:12:59] I love that.

Luis Martinez [00:13:00] [inaudible] is because we think we're busy, we think we're being busy when we're running for when we're having the squirrel syndrome and we think we're accomplishing so much and or wait a minute, all I did was one PICRA today, you know, and you weren't as effective or busy as you were. But you're you know, that's you mentioned another key point in in that sense of ministry and surrendering to a lot of it to the at the beginning. I think that's huge too. [inaudible]

Lisa Frates [00:13:36] Andrea, I was just going to say I'm curious why you started meditating two years ago.

Andrea Rice [00:13:42] So I was going to say yes. So, the reason I started meditating is I was going through I'd been married for 23 years and was going through a separation, and I just felt out of control. You know, I didn't have any control over the situation or very limited control. And so I was like, you know, I've got to do something different. I've got to find a way to find some peace and to start to move forward. Because I was just like spinning like the squirrel syndrome like that. That's a very real thing. I was just like my mind was all over the place. So, I started meditating and I would do it for literally hours a day in the beginning. I would do walking meditation, I would do sitting meditation. I would you know, I was meditating in my free time, pretty much the whole free time. And then, you know, it got to a point I didn't have to do it that much, you know, but it is something that I continue to do daily. It helped really give me the clarity and make me see that like, you know, I only have control over myself and it's good to, you know, be productive and take control over your life, but also at the same time too to realize, you know, you don't have to have control over everything. Like everything will sort itself out, you know. We just need to be mindful and aware of ourselves. And I still, you know, I meditate usually right before I go to bed is when I meditate. And it's completely changed my life because I feel like I'm more focused. I can just see the world in a clearer way without the constant distractions. I feel like that squirrel syndrome is like the key. Like if you find yourself, like, all over the place, like try meditation because it will really calm you and center you and make you be able to, like, navigate the world in just a much more calm and clear way. And I'm curious. So I don't particularly like guided meditations. And I'm curious if any of you have tried guided meditations or you like them. I know some people prefer them. It's just I find that they're difficult for me.

Lisa Frates [00:16:19] I did. I do like guided meditations, and I'll share with the group here Kelly Howell she has Brain Sync and her if you go to the App Store and download Meditate Me, she has both guided and non-guided. And the guided one, which I find interesting, especially if you're like, I can't calm my mind or I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to be doing, it really does take you through different body parts to kind of relax. You know, relax the muscles behind your eyes, relax your mouth, let it kind of naturally fall open. And so that it really takes you in that state. And her music is fantastic. So, you have to make sure you have your earplugs in and you've got the left one in the left ear, the right one, because you're hearing different sounds out of each one, and it helps you take your brain to that space, you know, to meditate. You know, without getting too deep. But, you know, we're talking about different levels of meditation. And but I would say I think starting off, if you really are a beginner, start off with, you know, she has a five-minute meditation and a seven minute and a ten minute, which is just wonderful. And, you know, and one of my kids, they meditate and they have a man that does the meditation. But I love Kelly's voice. It's so soothing and calming. And again, when I'm like, stuck in a problem for work, I will meditate and think about that problem and it helps me solve problems. Come up with different answers. It's amazing to me.

Luis Martinez [00:18:07] I both agree and disagree with the scripts. I think that when you're starting off, you kind of need some of it. I think with the I'm sorry, I kind of said scripts, but that's what I mean. Us as real estate agents, we are given a bunch of scripts and how to reply and how to respond so on and so forth. The thing is, is that we're not supposed to read them because they're not our own words. I think the guided meditations are meant to say, hey, this is kind of the system we got to follow. And the idea of this probably starting with the guided meditation go without it, so that you can. I think I'm finding I find much more progress now that I understand what the purpose of that meditation might be, to get what I want out of it. So if I want meditation in the morning to, you know, to have clarity of my day and have peace in my day and understand what my goals are and how I'm going to go about it, then that's what my meditation is going to be on. I'll find my quiet place and surrender. And then from there go through how I what I'm hoping to accomplish. And at night my meditation, my and my process will be different or even during the day, especially if I have something kind of pull me off the rails, so to speak. So the guided meditations I think there is a purpose for them, but I think the idea is to, to know which where you want to be in your own meditation not someone’s guide because it just didn't feel it didn't feel normal for me when someone was saying, okay, you are peace, you are love, you are calm. When if I'm off the rails that day or I just got caught off the road, I'm not feeling that. I had to find something that was just I had to make something my own that would still give that I why we're still accomplishing that feeling. And I think a lot of it doesn't a lot of it feels very uncomfortable. But and I said before, my when I first started meditating, I couldn't sit still. So walking was one thing that helped out or working out. But I wasn't as successful as I am now when I am able to sit still. I think that our subconscious or our body or something wants us to doesn't like that idea of sitting still. I think that's the practice of meditation. You know, we want to grab that cup of coffee. We want to scratch our nose. We want to move or adjust in the chair. We don't want to stay on our knees, you know, whatever the case is. But that point of getting into the place that certain frequency of meditation to where you can what you can accomplish what you want. Where you want to where you can create what you want. When you can find a peace that you want is important. And feel like I can do that without another voice in my head on a guided meditation. I hope that makes sense.

Patricia Kafka [00:21:35] Yeah.

Lisa Frates [00:21:37] Yeah, I like that. I've meditated in the shower before. I've meditated washing dishes before. So, you know, I think you can, you know, find what works for you. But you're right, now I'm more still and really crave carve that time out.

Andrea Rice [00:21:55] Yeah, I think it's just a matter of finding what works for you. You know, don't if one thing doesn't work right, if you don't like guided meditation, try it without. If you if you're having trouble doing it without, try guided meditation, try walking meditation, try looking different things up. I think that's the key, is to keep looking for something that does work for you and don't give up on it because it has so many benefits.

Patricia Kafka [00:22:23] I agree. I think I've done walking. I do walking a lot. I haven't done it as much since we've moved back, but we just moved here from D.C. not long ago and I did walk like a good solid. Like straight around the Capitol, all around the mall, cause we lived in Capitol Hill. So that was fun. But definitely listening to really peaceful music and just resting. Right? Resting and not having to feel like you have to have everything under control. But music helps me a lot just to focus and remember what I'm there for. There's something about initially sitting down and trying to meditate that makes me want to check the weather and what I'm wearing that day. I don't know why, but ultimately the music kind of keeps me focused and asking questions. You know, if there's something on my heart, something on my mind, asking a question in my mind and just peacefully receiving, the answer helps me a lot. And it could be anything. It could be, why am I offended? Why is this bugging me? And just kind of like rest fully looking at it instead of. Like I'm not great at emptying my mind, but if I if there's something that's bothering me or an interaction that's bothering me or fear that's bothering me, to be able to ask why that's bothering me helps me enormously. And then the peace comes, and then I feel like I can face whatever challenge that it is or let go. I mean, really, with offense, just let go and release the offense and just living that way is super helpful. Just not feeling offended. Right. So but for me, music is super helpful. It keeps me focused and asking questions. Not like crazy long conversations. Just the one question that's kind of eating at you, you know, how am I going to pay for college? You know, maybe not that, but yeah, so. Or just.

Lisa Frates [00:24:41] How am I going to find the right home for my buyer?

Patricia Kafka [00:24:43] Oh, that one. Yeah. Yeah. Or how will I tell my buyer that it is the right home when she's fighting me? Yeah.

Andrea Rice [00:24:54] All right, well, before we wrap things up, I want to get from each of you a tip or trick or take away. Just what if you could only give one tip trick or take away for our members? What would it be?

Lisa Frates [00:25:09] Oh, wow. That's a good one, Andrea. Mm. I think that it would be for me to tap into my wisest self. I think it is. You know, sometimes when you're caught up in the problem, I think you're just you can't see a different way. And meditation makes me step back almost kind of out of myself a little bit and look at it from a different perspective. And it and I just come from a different place. It makes my life better.

Andrea Rice [00:25:42] I like that. Patricia?

Patricia Kafka [00:25:46] I do still think the music is huge for me and just I think so many of the things that circle our brains are connected to fear. And I think if we can identify that and let it go, that we really don't have anything to fear. That's my.

Luis Martinez [00:26:08] I like it. Yes. Luis.

Luis Martinez [00:26:15] One tip, well. We're creatures of habit and we have our routines and things that we are consistent with whether they're bad habits or not, and we all want to progress. We all want a success or change for the better. And I think that we need to be very aware of doing something that feels familiar versus doing something that feels right and uncomfortable. So a lot of times we're like, this feels familiar, so this feels right. And that's not the same as doing something that's a little bit uncomfortable but also feels right. And being aware of those two feelings, I think can be a huge bridge to where you want to get to.

Patricia Kafka [00:27:11] Yeah. Can I add one thing>? I read a while back and I thought this was so interesting and this is totally what you're talking about. And it was talking about brain chemistry and he was talking about how there's pathways in our brains that are really, really large, like really wide highways, if you will like, start to finish the shortest route that and it's the way that our thoughts travel and it's choosing, like you said, to pick a different pathway and almost like carve out a different pathway in your brain. And it is work and it's hard and it is a discipline, but it is worth it absolutely worth it. And it's just interesting. I loved that visual, the highway visual, the pathways through your brain. And it's true. I mean, there's freedom on the other side of it. There's success on the other side of it is obviously we're sitting here talking about that it works.

Luis Martinez [00:28:08] I think one other thing I'd like to add, too, is that the want to meditate and sit down and do this leaves you very fast. The want to. Okay. Let me before I go get my coffee and breakfast and anything else. Take that time to meditate, whether it's five, ten, 15 minutes or an hour. With doing that. Doing stick, doing the discipline leaves you incredibly fast, especially if you're on a roll and you're having a couple of good days.

Lisa Frates [00:28:41] Yeah. Yeah.

Luis Martinez [00:28:43] I think just being aware of the process.

Lisa Frates [00:28:47] I wanted to read something to you guys. Suppose you read about a pill that you could take once a day to reduce anxiety and increase your contentment. Would you take it? Suppose further that the pill has great a great variety of side effects, all of them good. Increase self-esteem, empathy and trust. It even improves memory. Suppose, finally, that the pill is all natural and cost nothing. Now, would you take it? The pill exist. It's called meditation. And this came from the book The Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt.

Andrea Rice [00:29:28] Yes, I love it. Yes, thank you Lisa. That's a perfect way to wrap this up, I think. And, you know, I just want to say thank you to all of you for being here today and talking about meditation and sharing your experience with our members. And I feel like we could talk about it for literally hours because I feel like there's so much more to say, but maybe we'll have a part two. But again, thank you all for joining me today. I want to thank all of you for listening and I hope you enjoyed this episode of REINCheck if you missed any of the previous episodes, I do invite you to go to REINMLS.com and take a listen. Thank you and have a great rest of your day.

[MUSIC]

VO [00:30:12] You've been listening to REINCheck with Andrea Rice. Stay in the know from those who know. Delivered straight from the source, REIN MLS.

[MUSIC]